The Top 10 Ways to Annoy Your Client

1) Make her endure endless weekly status meetings where every member of your team slogs through the minute detail of his/her daily contribution to the account. Make sure to let her know how many calls you made for every pitch.
2) Forward long emails where the key message/action item is buried at the very bottom of several paragraphs of text. “Reply to all” a lot.
3) Cross your fingers and hope your client won’t see the feature article that mentions everyone in the industry but her company. Bad news is best handled with a “wait and see” strategy.
4) Make sure all the files you attach bear the client company name as the first word. I’m sure she doesn’t have many of those in her filing system.
5) Share with your client. She wants to know all about your political affiliations, children, pets etc.
6) Don’t sweat the small stuff:

  • There’s really no difference between who and whom
  • I and me are interchangeable nowadays – myself is a good catch-all.

7) If a client isn’t available to review/approve, make sure you cover your ass with an email and move on to the next thing.
8) Clients love PR speak! Terms like “secure coverage”, “moving forward”, and “out-of-pocket” make them feel like you really know what you are talking about.
9) Clients also love a clever and original turn-of-phrase. Use the following terms liberally in all client communications and press releases, too:

  • Under the radar
  • Stealth mode
  • View from 40,000 feet
  • Best-in-class
  • World-class
  • Cutting-edge

10) Always be sure show up at the clients’ offices in droves. The more the merrier. Fly in the night before, stay at an expensive hotel, heck, might as well go out for that steak dinner you’ve been hankering for. Be sure to bring the intern.

— Posted by Alison Moore


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